Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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