Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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