Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize