Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
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I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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