i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize