I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
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His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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