Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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