i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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