Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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