Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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