You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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