i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize