I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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