Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize