I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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