I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
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Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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