If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
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its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
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I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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