I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize