I hate all girls vehemently.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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