I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize