Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
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When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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