i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize