there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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