I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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