He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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