Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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