well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it wasn't lemon gatorade
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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