It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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