The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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