its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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