I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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