I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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