it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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