Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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