I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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