So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
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I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
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Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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