hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
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I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
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I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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