I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
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Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
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you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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