I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
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Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
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Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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