my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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