so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
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The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
how drunk are you?
Several
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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