I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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