Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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