eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize