I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
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somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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