youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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