Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize