i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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