no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
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Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
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So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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