Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I didn't notice because vodka
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize